Mini, Bunty, Babli and Prince Goldie were no ordinary cats. They had grown tired of their daily routine – chasing ‘imaginary’ mice, knocking over water bowls and napping in the sun.
One evening, as they were scrolling on their human master’s laptop (a skill they had secretly mastered), they stumbled upon something very intriguing: The Purrfect Zen Retreat – A Yoga Experience for Discerning Felines.
What would this even involve, they thought. “WOW!” Babli exclaimed with her tail flicking with excitement, “Stretching, meditation and gourmet fish platters- Find Your Inner Catness”
“A retreat just for us, with gourmet fish platters! WOW! I’m in, Bunty exclaimed. Mini, ever skeptical, squinted at the screen, “This sounds like a trap. What if it’s a vet in disguise?
Prince Goldie, who was always the cautious and wise one, purred, “This could exactly be WHAT WE NEED. A break from the human chaos!”.
After some careful paw-pointing on the keyboard, the four of them made their booking. Of course, their human, who was too distracted by their antics, didn’t even question it when they somehow got themselves into a luxury pet taxi the next morning.
ARRIVAL AT THE RETREAT
The retreat was nestled by a serene beach, which was surrounded by swaying palm trees and the gentle sounds of waves. At the entrance, there was large regal Maine Coon with a flowing mane and piercing golden eyes who sat in a perfect meditation pose.
“Welcome, young one’s the cat intoned. I am Guru – Meow-ananda.Here we embrace inner peace, flexibility and the art of ignoring humans… (unless they greet us with FOOD)”
Bunty was already rolling in the soft sand, purring aloud, “I love this place already.”
Their first pose was known as ‘Downward Cat’. To all four of the cats, it was a surprise that they all had been perfecting this pose every morning. Next was the ‘Sun Paws-itation’ pose, which was just an excuse to stretch lazily under the warm sun.
However, then came the real challenge, where they had to bend down before a bowl which had a floating fish toy in it. The goal of this was to resist the urge to swat the toy fish.
Mini lasted five seconds, Babli – three, Bunty launched herself at the bowl instead, sending water everywhere.
It was only Prince Goldie who could hold resistance during this pose, like a true yogi – only moving when Guru Meow-ananda nodded in approval. “You are strong in the ways of the Zen, young one,” Guru Meow purred.
Bunty, still soaked, muttered, “This is all rigged.”
EMBRACING THE ZEN LIFE
Each day at the retreat followed a peaceful rhythm. Mornings began with meditation, where they practiced the fine art of gazing into nothingness – a skill that all cats had already mastered.
Then came Mindful Naps, where they learned to sleep in perfect stillness, resisting every urge to twitch their tails at passing butterflies.
Afternoons were filled with Herbal Tea Tastings (fish-infused) and Deep Philosophical Discussions about the meaning of life.
“I believe the meaning of life is naps,” Mini declared
“You’re wrong,” Bunty said, flicking her ears. “It’s all about belly rubs”
“I disagree”, Prince Goldie chimed in. “The meaning of life is a well-timed zoomie at 3 AM.”
Guru Meow-ananda simply purred. “The answer lies within”
They all also attended the Art of Selective Hearing – a crucial skill for all cats. What was the lesson in this? To always hear the food bowl being filled but to never respond to their names being called.
By the end of the retreat, they all felt transformed, more balanced, more enlightened and more ENTITLED.
THE RETURN HOME
After five long days, their human, who was too busy in her life, casually picked each one up. However, after that brief hug from their human, they all strutted into the house with a newfound sense of confidence, walking as if they owned the place (which OF COURSE they surely did).
They no longer rushed to their food bowls but gracefully approached them, waiting for their meal to be served with the reverence that they NOW demanded.
They ignored the ‘laser’ light – seeing through its deception. When their human called them by their names, all they had to do was just turn away with an air of mystery as if they were contemplating the universe’s mysterious ways.
At 3 AM that very night, when their human fell into a deep sleep, Prince Goldie led them into a synchronised Zoomie session- because some instincts, no matter how enlightened they became, were too fun to let go of.
After all, they were now the Zen Masters of the Paws-ition!
